First, a caveat, I know nothing, these are just explanations that appeared in my brain after living my life, your mileage may vary.

1. Try to figure out what your values are. Values are ways you want to live, even if no one is around to see. You are a tree in a forest that no one can hear - what do you want to do? This is at the center of everything, try to figure it out first. A first draft today is better than a final draft tomorrow, and values change over time. Don't try to perfect it, just try to understand it. Your values are happening in your daily life already, all you have to do is stop and listen.

2. Once you know what your values are, decide how you want to put them into action. Set a small goal, make it something you can accomplish in a month.

3. Measure your progress or presence on a daily basis. Many generational talents are wasted simply because they happened to work somewhere that measures success in weeks, months, or the absolute worst – quarters.

4. Your work does not get better when you are suffering. In fact it gets worse. There is no reason you can't be happy while working hard. When you feel like something is missing (freedom; trust; creativity), get creative about how you could fill that need. It might be easier than you think! For example, most jobs will not fire you for going to the museum to get inspired at the beginning of a new project.

5. Your first job is to stay inspired. Everything else is downstream of that and limited by that. If you're not feeling inspired, figure out how to change that. Everything else will feel easier.

6. Life is all about relationships. The rest is just details. A lot of people consign themselves to dysfunctional relationships because they lack the creativity to find common ground or find a way to leave the relationship. Of course there are exceptions - but most of the time, it's possible to achieve one of these outcomes. A lot of people only use their creativity on their to-do list; but sometimes the most valuable creativity is done outside of the to-do list, in your life.

7. There is truly no limit on how happy you can be. Every year for the past 5 or so years of my life has been better than the last. I really do not want to brag it's just something that I want more people to know about! A lot of things are within reach if you just ask for them. Most people never ask for what they want, and then become resentful when they don't get it. The main benefit of really believing this is that you'll never settle for a crappy situation because you believe it is inevitable or inescapable.

8. A lot of problems in life are caused by an unwillingness to admit the feeling you are really feeling and communicating it. For example, you felt attacked during a work review, and then became defensive, which in turn made the meeting go poorly. If you take enough of a deep breath to realize that you really feel angry, or sad, and then communicate that, the problem often goes away on the spot. "That's fair, but I'm feeling sad about it". (If you're in an environment where you can't safely talk about feelings - try to get out!)

9. The most important part of an apology is to find meaning. It's no coincidence that this is the hardest part. To find meaning, ask yourself why the problem happened in the first place. Ask yourself if it always has to happen this way, and what might have caused it to happen this way this time. For example, one time when I apologized for not doing the dishes, I realized the real problem was that I was terrified of my performance review, and that I didn't have to be terrified of it, and I could decide to put a healthier boundary in place around work. A lot of problems melt away when you deliver a truly satisfying apology. Receiving one of these is rare, and they don't teach it in school. So it's totally understandable that most people don't go all the way.

10. In life, the best case scenario outcome is that you lose everyone and everything you've ever known and melt away into nothingness. That's the same thing as the worst case scenario. That is wonderful news. It means that living life by your values is really the only thing that matters. In our society, we create games that make us forget this, but you'll live life to the fullest if you keep this truth in mind.

10 is a nice even number, let's stop here.

Lastly, a caveat, I believe Jasmine Sun's tweet holds a lot of truth:
"all kids should do hard competitive activities (like sports). they’ll learn early that most of the best deserve their success and that only the privileged even get to compete. both things can be true at once"

I've been the recipient of a lot of privilege in my life, and if I sound privileged in any of the statements above... that's because I am! That said, I still think these insights are useful no matter where you are on the treadmill.

Credits:
Joe Edelman taught me about values, Leah Pearlman taught me about how safe you can really feel in a relationship, and Kirk Honda is the author of the 11 steps to a good apology, of which I reference step 11 above. Marcus Aurelius wrote the book that taught me that "the rules are made up and the points don't matter" is a guide to life, and my Uncle Jimmy coined the "Life is all about relationships" quote.